PAX 2011

Another year, another PAX Prime.

This was the most relaxed PAX I've ever had. I've finally boiled down PAX to what really matters: Friends & Indie Games.

We actually all (minus 1) sat down together at the Tap House Grill and had lunch together. Right in the middle of the day, during normal lunch hours, not to mention the exhibition hall being open. And the food was really good. And we had beers. Like adults. It was a real defining moment: we'd all done this song and dance before and there was no reason we needed to run around frantically, subsisting on junk food and being sleep-deprived.

I didn't even put on makeup for two of the days. Previous PAXes were focused on getting free T-shirts, the majority of which I never wear and fit me poorly, silly swag which sits untouched in bags, and playing up my role of being a hot gamer chick.

I'm hoping that this year's epiphany flows over to my IRL existence and that I can try to cut out some of the things that I used to think were important, but that I don't really need. Boil it down to the things that really matter. And what does really matter? Seems like sleep matters less and less because it's the only way I can hang out with more people.

Writing matters to me. I read somewhere that you have to get to a point where you can't NOT write, when not writing is like dying. I've always been focused on writing something amazing, and that's where it ends. But writing is one of the things that I do that I am genuinely proud of. I re-read good pieces and marvel that it was wrought by my hands and despair that I'll never reach that potential again.

I refuse to believe that I reached my creative genius in high school.